End of the year

We came back from the funeral on Wednesday and managed to go out a couple of times, when it was still nice. Since it has been raining for three days, we chose (wisely, I may say) to stay indoors. So for three days I have been doing what I like most - stay indoors and do absolutely nothing of importance, like reading, watching telly, play silly computer games, talk and dine in the living room (it still has such a grown-up feeling about it, I can't really say why) and seriously thinning the house edible reserves.

Also I had time to catch up on my reading on the net. I have grown addicted to reading on the net. Perhaps it is because I still consider it time-wasting, unlike reading a hardcover proper book. Combined with my old fascination for filth (the one that generates malaise, the Charles Baudelaire filth), I end up reading a lot of stuff that only aggravates my misanthropy. On this note, I have to say that having come to know filth and meanness and evil in people so well, I am touched to tears whenever I am faced with an instance of good, real or fictionalized. Which kind of worries me, because from this stage to crying at soppy movies is not really that far. And this label of crying at the movies is something I do not really want to have attached to me.

Coming back to reading garbage, on the net and on newspapers as well, I might add.
People seem to be prone to writing even MORE trash than usual now that the end of year is near. On the one hand, if you deal with serious matters, like the Crisis or failure of banking system at this time of year, don't be surprised if you appear to have a greenish tinge in photos, that would be the Grinch deep down revealed by the kindness of people around you. On the other hand, if you trifle your way through merry times and Christmas binging, there will always be someone to agreeable point out the shallowness of your behaviour.

In any case, the mood of the season holidays makes writers write silly texts and readers read them with eyes screwed up in mocking disbelief.

Thus said, I acknowledge the bareness of the season holidays from the inspiration point of view and gracefully lay my electronic pen down until next year.

Happy holidays to all of us!

What is wrong with the world today

My friend, Mr. Laz, whose blog I have yet to figure out how to add on my page, tries here to make some sense in this respect. Namely, what is wrong with the world. First I wanted to comment on his blog. After I realized that it would be too long a comment, I decided to post as a comment on my own blog. So that I can profit a bit from his own fame. ;-))

In my opinion, the world is far from perfect. And it has been this was from the very beginning. I do not want to poke anything at anyone who might know more than all of us put together, but if man was created in His image, than either He is not perfect at all, as the good Book wants us to believe, or He left out on purpose a very important ingredient, which practically sent His perfection down another one of His creation, commonly referred to as the drain.

I think that the world has been this flawed from the very beginning. Men have always killed their peers, be it for a loaf of bread or a piece of country. Men have cheated, lied, betrayed, schemed, plotted, feigned, and generally killed or cause to be killed in any way conceivable, and many other similar activities since the dawn of time. Actually, apart from one single person that the majority of us believes to be His son, there is a bit of evil in all of us. Some control it, some yield to it, but one this is clear: evil is the reference point for good, hence it is omnipresent.

But even though we have lived with it since we have come into this world, it appears that over the centuries we have "refined" it and "polished" it. And now, due to all these modern means of communication, we find out about each and every instance of evil happening in this world. I am even tempted to think that perhaps there is no more evil today than it was 200 or 2000 years ago. But back then, people knew very little about it, folks from Ravena were not able to find out what was happening at the Mayan court, nor were the Finish aware of the samurai ways. When they did, the times lapsed from the actual occurrence was able to distort the event to mythical proportions or Lilliputian consequences. Either way, I believe that evil was more "local" back then. Nowadays it has acquired Biblical dimensions.

And the fact that the media misses precisely no opportunity to do its "duty" and "inform" the public about each and every crime, accident, calamity, tragedy, murder, and so on. I remember precisely how CNN relished the Virginia killing spree and they poked and prodded each person at hand with all questions crossing their minds, most of them worthy of a healthy spit between the eyes. In the name of "telling the truth" the journalists set on a quest for audiences that trivializes genuine tragedies, which is deeply, deeply wrong.

Access to knowledge is mostly good, but as any other thing in this world, has a downside as well. I say that the world is how it has always been, only that now we know about it. And instead of cooling hot heads, this only gives new ideas to people who put them to practice. I know that the attackers from Mumbai did not need any new piece of info to get on with their business. But I think that the troubled teenagers from Columbine surely got their inspiration from sources most of us consider innocent.

We are definitely living in a twisted world. If we stop to think about it and everything that could go wrong, agoraphobia would become the norm of acceptable living. Thinking about what went terribly wrong in the past apparently is of no help either, because on individual level most of us are challenged in learning from our own mistakes, contrary to popular sayings that "once burnt with soup, you start cooling down your yogurt", or "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" and so on. And if we are not able to learn individually, than on a larger scale the experiment has absolutely no other result than complete and utter failure.

How do we still go on living, considering all that? How do we find the strength to continue with our lives after tragedy happening to us or close to us? It's simple - by ignoring anything that might trouble us. It's the human solution to coping with tragedy. We just don't think about it and it goes away, because we keep ourselves busy with a lot of other things. Those who stop to think about it become misanthropes. The rest go on living.

Right. So I managed to go waaaay off track from what the Laz friend was talking about and, as added bonus, got myself a tad depressed because I remembered the world we are living in and which I am thinking of bringing new children in, just to get them all screwed up by an unfair and twisted society. Lovely thoughts for the weekend.

Thank God that I've got friends coming over for the weekend to cheer me up and remind me that there is still some good in this world as well. I still have got a couple of hours until we have to go pick them up from the airport.

I hope Saint Nicholas is aware of what an exceptionally good girl I have been this year. I so much deserve a treat from Hugendubel! I do.

OK. Done for today.

24

With all respect to Jack Bauer and his most impressive bodycount, 24 the movie is a rare pile of bs that should make everyone involved in this movie feel ashamed.
I liked the series and thought it was so suspensefull that I needed to watch an entire season once, I could not wait from one week to the other, so I decided to wait until the season was over and I watched it in a weekend.
I teared myself away from the Mark Blake's wonderful Pink Floyd biography to watch 24-the movie and I am sorry I did that, I think someone should give me back the time I wasted on it.
I wonder if the story is continued in the up-coming 24 season that starts this January. But I am so disapointed, that I am not even bothering to look it up on the internet to see what it is all about.
What did they decided to make a movie so boring? They managed to keep up the tempo with the serie, but failed miserably with the movie.
Anyway, ranting over. Going back to Floyd.

Almost December

I had no time for blogging these past weeks. I started the superhero post a while back, after I had seen the latest Bond flick, and never got to finish it. So I've just posted it today as part 1. The superhero theme is very dear to me and will certainly get back to it.

I spent some time in Romania, traveling to and fro, seeing family, friends, acquaintances, doing things with them, chatting and catching up, and in the end we were very grateful to have chosen a very comfortable car in which we spent almost half of the time. I have also realized that my home now is in Germany. I am glad to be home. It was good to see everybody and be back in my native country, but it is also good to be back home.

Romania is very much part of me, and the relationship with it is a strong love-hate one. I hate the things that are not working, corruption, bad roads (although I have to admit that they are not as bad as I expected, some of them are more than passable), unwillingness to change things for the better, the constant need to prove something (whatever that may be). I love the warmth of people, the laugh-while-crying attitude, the raw emotions you get to experience without any warning at all, the inventiveness of the place and its people that leads to hilarious shenanigans (for example, passing by a gas station called OVM, yep, no mistake, not OMV but OVM, although it was so shabby it could not have fooled anyone into believing in a typo...). It is a lot like our great compound family - crazy but lovable, heartwarming and exasperating.

I think it will take a longer time than estimated for things to get on the right track in Romania. I don't even know who is to blame for everything that Romania is criticized for - the politicians, the people who still elects the same proven over and over again dubious characters, the indifference of any authority you might think of, the inanities you get whenever you have to deal with bureaucracy. We did not invent all these, but instead of getting rid of them, we just try and find ways to coexist with them. Is this wise or foolish? I tend to say it is foolish, but I have not been a trend setter of main-stream follower of renown.

Anyway, there were some good experiences that we did not expect to have - some good roads, helpful and expeditious bank personnel, nice small neighborhood shops with polite shop assistants. And this is nice. After a long period of having a lot of bad things happening to you in your own home country, it is very comforting to have something nice to say about it.

I have just realized that today is election day in Romania. But due to some questionable legal provisions, neither hubby nor I can vote, because you have to be in the place where your legal residence is (for us Buzau) in order to be able to vote. Not that I would have known whom to vote for anyway. In Buzau or in "diaspora". I don't trust any of them candidates and would most likely have voted blank. But, thanks to the new uninominal vote law, we can't. In the same situation as us are the rest of the people who are abroad but have not renounced their legal residence in Romania, or the students who are not studying in their home town, or those completing their military service (which nowadays is no longer under forced conscription). Uninominal vote is good though, so we'll make do this time and hope the law will get better in time. I just hope that for presidential elections things will be different. I do want to express my electoral opinion in this respect. Although senators and deputies have more power and actually make the laws, I don't know who could really make a difference for the better. But I do know whom I am voting for as president.

It's Sunday. It's sunny. It's a lazy day spent at home. It's almost lunch.
So, toodiloo for now. (I keep considering these posts as letters sent to someone, and I have to end them in a letter-writing way. I am lousy at writing introductions, and not any better at finishing them.)

The Superheroes' Appology - part 1

I have a theory - I have several, truth be told, but if I start telling them all at once, God save all souls around me.
BUT
I have a theory regarding superheros.

I think that the world needs superheros. As imaginary and make-believe they are, we do need them. Even though we all know the reality is far from the world of moving pictures, I think we do need them. Despite the three digits IQ, it still feels nice and comfortable thinking about ordinary looking people who can do extraordinary things. It is not suspending belief until we reach the level of self-harm. It is suspending belief until reaching the level when we can surpass our innate selfishness and start thinking about ourselves in the context of a community and we might just do something else for someone we don't really know, without any profit for us coming out of it all. That is superhero stuff.

We will never fly by ourselves (or if we will, than we will be radically different from what we are now). We won't get mutated to the point of shooting spider-threads from our wrists. We won't be able to stretch out of our physical abilities. We won't alter too much of our physical being. But it is said to be faced with an alternate reality when only such abilities prompts a human being to think about the others, don't you think? Comics are considered to be children stories. As is Harry Potter, who is not exactly a superhero, but he is very dear to me and he really helped me escape a much too cruder at the time reality. I say that they are not entirely childish, as many would treat them. I think that they are better variants of a normal human being. And don't we all aspire to be better at a certain point in our lives?

Sure, it is not entirely fair to ask of people to be better when they lack basic things, like material comfort, a house, a job, a better job, a fulfilled need to be appreciated, love, respect, a decent life... How can you think of others when your life is not what you heard it should be, what the society you live in gave you the image of, and really, now, if we come to think about it, until we consider ourselves fulfilled, we can't really start doing good for others. Unless, of course, we are not quite all "there".

So, logically, it can't be but a superhero the person who, although experiencing a not very fulfilled life, can still think of someone else but himself.

New tricks

I have just noticed that the time displayed when posting was all WRONG.
Only natural, considering it was Pacific Time!! Duuuh...

I fixed it. I looked it up, found out how, and did it.
Internet has no secrets to me!
I'm close to being the queen of the world.

Long enough

Perhaps a better title for this post would be "I've got a mind and I am afraid to use it".

Background:
Last year, I used to listen to a online radio that kept playing the Madonna advertisement for H&M. Something close to "Do you know what H&M stands for? Her Majesty. Well, isn't that nice of them?" I listened to it at least 15 times per day. I still say it in that mock-enticingly tone whenever I pass an H&M store, and God knows I have the chance to say it quite a lot, there are only 3 or 4 stores on Kaufingerstr. alone!

Favourable condition:
I have a hearing problem. Not an acuity one, but I am not all that able to discern sounds when there is too much noise (public places where there is loud music playing, or many people talking, or train stations, or anything similar). I had it tested, it's neurological, and can't really help it. So most of the times I "guess" what the others are saying and try to "match" it with the context. Usually it works. Sometimes the goofiest of lines come out of my mouth.
This has lead me to practice the "guessing game" even outside noisy places, and I match the meaning of words I hear to whatever I am thinking of at that moment. Still leads to nincompoop-like stances.

Unfavourable condition:
I have know from more than a year that a diminutive for Madonna is Madge.

Outcome:
It only took my one year to figure out that what Madonna says in the said advert is actually "Do you know what H&M stands for? Her Madgesty." Well, isn't THAT nice of them?! ;-)

And now I know.
Better later than not at all, I say. (I must see some good in this)


Toodiloo!

X-mas mood

After a lot of trouble with this celebration that is more commercial than spiritual, after debating endlessly whether it is wise to yield to the trivial lures of marketing and spend on gifts or stand your ground and focus on religious significance, I have come to the conclusion that I am divided on this topic.

On the one hand, I consider it absolutely shameless, all right?!, to sell any kind of junk and force it down poor consumers' throat under the pretext of a "Christmas present for the one you love". Even if it is not a proper junk, it still encourages the concept of buying the affection of others and makes it acceptable to try and negotiate emotions.
"Daddy loves you so much that he talked to Santa to bring you a bike!"
"My boyfriend got me a car for Christmas, so it is true love."
"I only got a stinkin' t-shirt for Christmas, how pathetic is that, you really don't love me, you miserable bump, where would you be without me?!"
And other silly lines we all know about.

On the other hand, I am hooked on Christmas songs. Not carols, although I find some of them quite nice. I am talking about the "pop" songs of the season. What I hum most of the times throughout the year is "'tis the season to be jolly, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la". I do not do it on purpose, the palatal la-la-la gets out of my mouth without prior approval. It is already a reflex.
I listen to online Christmas radios all year long, and regularly (daily) starting with November 1st.
When I shared the office, this was a major issue, since I was the only one in favour of such practices and music. Understandably, I had to resort to headphones.

I consider this thing similar to smoking/no smoking issue. Those who don't smoke consider the smoking ban fair and welcome, while the smokers think this is discrimination. Those who don't like Christmas, for their own various motives, have heart rates going through the roof when hearing "season greetings" radios. I and the other 3 persons who enjoy the holidays section of iTunes radio, might consider the rest biased and it is only the season spirit that reminds us to be civil and behave considerately by using headphones.

On this sensitive approach, please enjoy the Frank Kelly transposition of "12 Days to Christmas".
Hopefully, I will be able to work out the technical details of sharing a youtube link on a blog.



Oh, and please note that I am not the one who started it, almost all shops have started selling Xmas stuff as of mid-October. That would increase the Xmas shopping period to more than 2 months, wouldn't it? Actually, this is what reminded me to switch from Loliradiosoft to Play Xmas UK.

Sunday digression

I have asked a friend why drives him to blog. He says it is a good TV substitute.
Ever since the last post I thought about what I should write about next.
I still have no idea how this blogging works and why and so on, so I just blab about anything that crosses my mind and I expect to get the hang of it some time. I hope I will find it therapeutically good, although I do not believe that I need any fixing so far. For the moment, I can't really say I am hooked.
Anyway.

This weekend was nice. Nice weather, nice time, nice movies. We had better time than in September. Perhaps I can upload some photos later, taken today when we stopped for a while at Ammersee. I love autumn, it really has glorious colours and the sun is no longer that harsh to cast weird shadows all over and you still can see some green patches - what can I say, I do love it.

I like driving through little villages in Germany, they almost all seem deserted and the landscape is unexpected and quite nice. But, what really gets on my nerves are the much too narrow streets, on which Germans naturally drive very fast, pushing me closer to heart attack, and the very nasty habit some drivers have to not signal when they change lanes. Come on, now, how difficult can it be? I consider it a sign of politeness and common decency, especially when you are cutting off in front of someone else at a certainly illegal speed.

Now hubby is watching the last of the Formula 1 races of this year.
Aside the technically side of the sport (on which of course I have an opinion, but I am aware that I should keep it to myself, there are better commentaries out there than mine), still, I do have a problem. It is about Lewis Hamilton. More precisely his girlfriend, Nicole Scherzinger, front female whatever of Pussycat Dolls. She is 8 years older than Lewis and some gazillion miles away in style and apparent morals. How on earth does his dad allow him to go out with such a bimbo? I mean, Lewis is nice, handsome, talented albeit a tad arrogant, nevertheless he is a real catch and how did this reformed burlesque group member get her claws on him, I will not understand. For crying out loud, she dresses in plastic clothing items which one cannot imagine how she pours herself in and struts around, perched on ridiculously high platforms usually used by girls working in establishments with a preference for red curtains.

I know that almost everyone has a soft spot for the "baddie". What exactly makes us click for the bad treatment, I cannot quite explain. But it has been like that for some time, and I do not think it will go away soon, although it will probably change forms from decade to decade.
So, is Lewis just sporting his "bad girl" inclination? Could it be just that? Should we hope that it is just a phase and afterward he will meet a nice girl, settle down and do the "proper thing"?
Why are we so eager to accept any kind of treatment from a person that in our eyes seems "cool" and later on is generally described as plain rude and selfish? Are we not able to see past the leather jacket, the smoking, the gross language and the "straightforwardness"? Why is it that attention from such persons makes us feel so different and so happy? Of course, this is just for a short period of time, because such beings have the attention span of a toddler and next thing we know we are left crying in the rain while the badass has moved on to the next one in line.

I try to think about the motivation that make a person voluntarily choose to be a badass. I cannot believe that someone wakes up one morning thinking "I will be cool from now on, I will smoke, drink, fuck, swear, have as sole rule "ignoring the rules", I will treat the opposite sex as mean of obtaining sexual satisfaction and material gains, in a word I will be the pin-up for the saying ""Mad, bad and dangerous to know" ". I don't think this is what happen. I also don't think that such persons realize how their behaviour affects the others. And almost certainly, although they claim they are "rotten to the core", they have a good opinion about themselves, as we all do, deep inside ourselves. Since we can all justify our actions and opinions, so can they, only the justifications is slightly different. What I would like to know is precisely this motivation. What drives them to be jerks and be proud about it?

I also cannot understand why such an impressive number of people fall for such immature stereotypes. And surprisingly, they are not all teenagers, age when hormones and identity quest drive anyone out of their natural mould. They are not happy treated like scum. Could it be that the pain ensuing from this makes a person feel alive?

I have heard this theory on different occasions, that pain is able to make someone feel alive. I do not like pain, but I try to be as sympathetic as I can be. I try to ask people subjecting themselves voluntarily to pain why they choose to do so. They cannot be exactly coherent, or at least, until now, I could not elicit a logical explanation. And funny thing is that I would not label them all masochists. But I do think that something is deeply wrong with them.

Following this line of thought, what could be so wrong with Lewis Hamilton that he consorts with that creature? The arrogance he is so often accused of is explained by the talent that was acknowledged so early in his life. It is natural, I think. And in theory, it is also natural for him to frolic around with objectifiable persons. But why does him? Now, Lewis, if you read this, please do not get angry or judged, be an adult and reply with scientific detachment, all rightie? ;-))

On this abstract note ends the Sunday digression.

Good night.

"Next blog"

So, I thought of seeing what the "next blog" button can offer me.
Naturally, a lot of other blogs.
Nerdy blogs, family blogs, blogs with photos, sketches, art, drawings - you name it, you've got it.

But, man, oh, man - WHY do they need to put up music on their blogs? Really now... Those blogs were skipped so fast I can't even say what they were about or in what languages. I spent more time on blogs in languages I don't know...

So, note to self - music is divine, except when on blogs!

Right. Moving on.

First time - second try

I do have a lot of time on my hands. Which I manage to mismanage to the best of my abilities.
So, here I go (a second time, I might add) and try to organize and make sense of my time and ideas and whims and moods.

How much of the stuff one can write on a blog can be personal? My guess is that most of it, since otherwise I think it would be just a technical one, wouldn't it?!

How much of the personal stuff should one share with folks in front of a screen?

Until now, my answer was that not much of MY ideas and opinions should be written down.
But it might be a good idea to try and keep a blog.

I am trying to justify the existence of this blog. I am afraid that I am not exactly doing a good job at it.

But since I consider it a good exercise, I will stop meddling with reasons and psycho-poopoo stuff, and just get on with it.

Here, the intro is done.