Tolerance is a word very much used nowadays. As it is usually easily done, people get to overuse it, accelerating the natural process of changing the meaning of a word. Think of 'ambition' or 'selfishness', they used to have negative connotations, now not so much, at least as far as ambition is concerned.
I thought of myself as pretty tolerant, and took pride in being so. But I have discovered yesterday (yet again) that theory and practice are two rather separate things.
Midday, after lunch time, a time I consider very much inappropriate to call on someone, especially if you do not know them, two ladies rang at my door. One was in her 50s, the other in her 60s, closer to 70s. They greeted me in Romanian, not quite what anyone might expect in Munich, I would think, which naturally left me speechless for 2 seconds. What did they want? To invite me to a Bible study at the Jehovah's witnesses church.
I must admit I found the invitation a bit odd, but since we shared the nationality, I told myself to be a bit more tolerant this time and indulge them for a while. I am not a religious person, I do not regularly go to church, but that does not mean I am inclined to trade my not going to my church for not going to another. What follows in italics are the thoughts that sadly I did not share with the ladies.
Seeing that I am awkwardly not knowing how to handle the situation, the younger lady thought it wise to ask me if I am 'worried about the current state of affairs in the world'. Riiiight, because this is a topic to be discussed while standing in the doorway.
'Well, it is a difficult question, certainly there are things that I am not happy about, but then life is so in general and has been since the begining of times, I think, isn't it so?'
I had to answer. I always do that. I have to answer most questions are asked in my presence, even if I am not directly asked.
I realised that I could have answered 'dibbly-doo-bup' and the reaction would have been the same. It does not really matter what you answer, it is the engaging into the discussion that they are after. No, strike that, not discussion, but monologue.
'And the terrorism, and the hunger, and the unemployment... You see, we have a Bible study group, and we are all Romanian, and we would like you to join us and study the Bible together. Because all answers to life are in there, in this Big Book.'
Hmmm, really? For me it only means that the Big Book is vague enough on certain subjects that the answer can be interpreted in various ways and leaves room for all opinions. I am not being blasphemous here, I do think it is the Big Book, but you are not hooking me up with THAT line, lady.
'We left you a brochure with six very important questions in life that people ask, and in there there are the answers to these questions. We left it last year. I am sure you got it. Do you still have it?'
I am sorry, am I being held accountable here for not storing religious propaganda leaflets that clog my mail box?
'I might have had such a leaflet in my mail box, but I must admit I did not read it thoroughly.' Which is true, I did read some of it, because it was in Romanian and it was weird to find it and wanted to know what it was about.
'We can give you another one, I have one more to spare.'
Oh, goody!
'Would you like to read out loud the answer to what is happiness from the Bible?'
'Erm... not really.' Not even for myself, so out loud in the hallway of my block of flats is definitely out of the question.
'But we are Romanians. And we need to stick together. And we can find answers together.' Precisely, flog the old national horse, dear, because this is the way to my heart.
'Look, lady, both my husband and I are orthodox. We may not go to church on a regular basis, but we are NOT considering any change of religious faith. Not now, not ever. So, while I may not dare tell you straight up 'Go on your away and may God bless you', I am telling you that I will think about your little reunion, as an intellectual exercise, but I do not promise anything. May God bless you, my dear ladies.'
The older lady was rather crossed. How can anyone pass up the most important moment of their life to have the questions of life answered? I must be a lost sheep, no doubt.
Now, they did leave a leaflet. The one they did last year as well. It is called 'Would you like to know the truth?' and it gives answers to six questions. I think there is still hope for me after all. Especially since the dishwasher delivery guys take their sweet time getting here.
The answers are structured in two parts, a) is why we ask this question, b) what the Bible tells us.
The six questions:
1. Does God really cares about us?
a) there are religions that preach sufferance existing because God allows it, but they don't give any specific example. They just point the finger, but do not want any legal troubles, I suspect.
b) God does not cause evil. Right. God cares so much that he made it possible for His purpose to become a certainty. Not quite the answer to the question asked, but still. Crystal clear.
2. Will the wars and sufferance ever end?
a) Still a lot of people die in wars and everybody may suffer. (Pretty observant people. It would have never crossed my mind.)
b) God foretells a time when peace will reign on Earth. He will also end all sufferance and injustice. No time frame mentioned. So better not hold my breath.
3. What happens to us when we die?
a) Most religions say that after death, something inside the humans lives on. Others say that the dead can hurt the living or that God punishes the sinners to live in eternal flames of hell. Bad, bad people!
b) Wrong. When people die, they cease to exist. Since the dead are not aware of anything any more, they do not feel, they can neither harm, nor do good to the living. Hmm, they might be right on this one.
4. Is there any hope for the dead?
a) We all want to live with the ones we love. It is natural to long to see once more the dear ones that passed away. Oh, the sheer simplicity of truism!
b) Most those who died shall resurrect. As per the initial intention of God, people will be brought back to life to live in a heaven on earth. So not all those who died. Who gets permission to come back? 'The obedient people'. What does that mean? And I am pretty sure I do not fall into that category.
5. How to pray so that God listen to me prayers? (Oh, Jesus... Literally.)
a) All people of all religions pray. Still, many have the feeling their prayers are not listened to. (A counter-example came to my mind: 'Please, God, please, let me win the lottery this time, please.' 'I would very much want to help you out on this one, but, for my Son's sake, buy a ticket this time, won't you?!')
b) Jesus tells us not to use clichés. If we want to be heard, we must pray as He wants us to. We must learn the will of God and then pray in harmony with it. (Oh, so THAT's where people get it wrong...)
6. How do I find happiness? (Tough one. Let's see the answer...)
a) Many think that money, fame and beauty bring them happiness. They pursue these goals, but realise that they are none the happier. (Duuh! It's certainly not only the money, but, let's face it, money certainly help. As for fame and beauty - people who think this is what happiness is about, when they lose them, they are afterwards converted to Jehovas' witnesses, I think.)
b) Obviously, true happiness can be found only if we try to satisfy our greatest need, to find out the truth about God and His intentions towards us. This can only be done by reading the Bible. (THAT simple! I knew there was some truth about this reading as a pastime.)
So, there you are. You are now as lucky as I am to know the Truth.
I can't believe I am THAT bored to have translated a darn leaflet for the Jehovah's witnesses! In my defence, I am still waiting for the dishwasher to be delivered. They should have been here an hour ago. So much for German punctuality.
Now, after actually reading the leaflet, I wonder: what precisely is the double-digit IQ needed to fall for such globberdash? When I say that the Bible is perhaps THE Big Book, I mean it is such a masterpiece of human pshychology that with apparently simple words it can be so vague on certain subjects that allows any interpretation. And since humans are made so that they are happy when they hear what they want to hear, the Bible literally speaks to anyone.
I am not trashing down God and his followers, I do believe there is a God, only for me He is not the old, white-bearded fellow dozing off up above, He (for lack of a better pronoun) is something else, which I am not going to talk about here. But passing self-evident truths as the words of God is insulting both for God and the people whom the words are addresses to. Opium for the masses does not mean boring me out of my mind or until I pass out, whichever comes first.
I am just acknowledging the fact that, to my dismay, I am not tolerant at all. But more orthodox than ever. Or better said, I am tolerant with other religions as long as they mind their own business and do not try to make me discover the Truth or, plainly said, convert me. As for the 'intellectual exercise', sod it off, I am too choleric for such an exercise.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Frankfurt IAA 2009 - girlie perspective on autoshow and cars
We went last week to the Frankfurt car show. Lotsa people, lotsa cars, old and new, the usual, you know. I will try not to bore you with the run-of-the-mill account of an auto show, I will only tell you what I remember about it, good and bad.
First of all, it's HUGE. You can get blisters walking around cars. Which I find ironic. Walking and cars in the same sentence.
Compared to the Geneva one, is like an melon and an apple put together. The same might be only the number of people of square metre. The good thing is that some stands really stood out. (Oh, how I love me puns!)
The best of them (and quoting our friend Fred from Lyon, çà m'arrache la tête de l'dire) was the BWM stand. Enormous. They had a small circuit inside it! That big it was.
A circuit where you could have a go with one of the beemers. And they had a couple of beautiful, dressed and decent girls standing by their concept car.
Tasteful and interesting. BMW is not my car of choice, but they really did win the "best in show" stand.
Then (almost a tie, they only lost to BMW 'cause of the circuit thing) it was the Renault stand. Most precisely their concept cars stand. Which was spacious, with pastel colours like aqua and pistachio-green, and the cars were all fluffed up and girlish. Don't know about the rest, but I, for one, liked it. It was the first time when a car showed its gender (in most languages, car is feminine, in case I am being too obscure). There, see?
Et bon, çà va, toi...And talking about gendered cars, what about this Citroen?
Oh, cheri, comme je t'attends, oh, la, la...The filtered look between luscious lashes, the rounded little mouth, it is definitely a she. No doubt about it.
To wrap up the French, Peugeot had a very interesting water display.
A car show is not only an occasion to see all cars together (more or less), but to see cars that you don't usually see. Like Brabus, the Mercedes tuning company. Had no idea who they were anyway, but I found it impressive. Now, THAT's a German car, Clarkson, don't you agree?
Or the British red Vantage. V 12. Gorgeous. The people behind it were crowding to get inside a closed set to see a new Aston Martin. Or whatever, I don't really know, I refused to queue, even for an Aston.
Talking about queuing, those airheads at Jaguar pulled the same trick as they did in Geneva. Namely, they closed down their stand, and locked up their cars. You could not get closer to any of the Jags, you had to stand in line to be allowed to enter the exclusive Jag space. They got another "sod off" from us, thankyouverymuch. I do not understand this attitude, you could go touch an Aston, but not a Jag, come effing on! The cars are beautiful, owning a Jag makes you instantly 10 cm taller, but I could not stand their idea of stand. There.
(imagine a picture with the logo and only JAGU in the background;
that is the only picture of Jaguar from Frankfurt, but since the blogspot image uploader is weird, I am not willing to go through all the hoops again just for that)
Moving on. Still an enclosed space to display the cars, only that the cars were very close to the enclosure and you know, a Maseratti is not a Jag. By stretching a bit (more), I could get 10 cm taller (without high heels, but with serious loans) this lifetime. Not the same with a Maserati.
Incidentally, I may have not told you yet, and this is the best occasion ever, to tell you a bit of trivia about my home town. There, some 120 km away from Bucharest, there was a pair of brothers whose father was a true petrolhead. So much that he named his sons... Maserati and (what else?!) Ferrari. No, I am not kidding. They were famous when I was in high school. Haven't heard anything about them in more than a decade. So no, I have no idea if they had little Porsches of their own.
And then, there was... rghini. Lambo-rghini. Neither shaken, nor stirred. I still wonder how this car did not get to be James Bond's. The only explanation I have is that it is not British.
We got to say "Hi" to a movie star. Hi, Shelby. You were the star in Gone in 60 seconds, not Nick Cage, not even Ange.
Last, but not least, the reason for which we drove to Frankfurt.
Which Scandinavian Experience could mean this:
Oy, where IS the steering wheel anyway?!
Or the fluid lines of the new Volvo S60:
But no, Scandinavian for us is...
The stand was more sparkly than the one they had in Geneva.
And I must say here that we only went because we were sent tickets to go see...
And here is the new 9-5.
I like the new rear. (I checked with the usual suspect and I am not wrong, this is indeed the new rear of the new 9-5. If you find any inadvertence is only due to the fact the hubs was not at home to double check.)
So, there it is. This is what we did last Tuesday. More photos, in case you want to see more cars, can be found on the flickr account.
For now, toodiloo.
To wrap up the French, Peugeot had a very interesting water display.
A car show is not only an occasion to see all cars together (more or less), but to see cars that you don't usually see. Like Brabus, the Mercedes tuning company. Had no idea who they were anyway, but I found it impressive. Now, THAT's a German car, Clarkson, don't you agree?
Or the British red Vantage. V 12. Gorgeous. The people behind it were crowding to get inside a closed set to see a new Aston Martin. Or whatever, I don't really know, I refused to queue, even for an Aston.
Talking about queuing, those airheads at Jaguar pulled the same trick as they did in Geneva. Namely, they closed down their stand, and locked up their cars. You could not get closer to any of the Jags, you had to stand in line to be allowed to enter the exclusive Jag space. They got another "sod off" from us, thankyouverymuch. I do not understand this attitude, you could go touch an Aston, but not a Jag, come effing on! The cars are beautiful, owning a Jag makes you instantly 10 cm taller, but I could not stand their idea of stand. There.
(imagine a picture with the logo and only JAGU in the background;
that is the only picture of Jaguar from Frankfurt, but since the blogspot image uploader is weird, I am not willing to go through all the hoops again just for that)
Moving on. Still an enclosed space to display the cars, only that the cars were very close to the enclosure and you know, a Maseratti is not a Jag. By stretching a bit (more), I could get 10 cm taller (without high heels, but with serious loans) this lifetime. Not the same with a Maserati.
Incidentally, I may have not told you yet, and this is the best occasion ever, to tell you a bit of trivia about my home town. There, some 120 km away from Bucharest, there was a pair of brothers whose father was a true petrolhead. So much that he named his sons... Maserati and (what else?!) Ferrari. No, I am not kidding. They were famous when I was in high school. Haven't heard anything about them in more than a decade. So no, I have no idea if they had little Porsches of their own.
And then, there was... rghini. Lambo-rghini. Neither shaken, nor stirred. I still wonder how this car did not get to be James Bond's. The only explanation I have is that it is not British.
We got to say "Hi" to a movie star. Hi, Shelby. You were the star in Gone in 60 seconds, not Nick Cage, not even Ange.
Last, but not least, the reason for which we drove to Frankfurt.
Which Scandinavian Experience could mean this:
Oy, where IS the steering wheel anyway?!Or the fluid lines of the new Volvo S60:
The stand was more sparkly than the one they had in Geneva.
And I must say here that we only went because we were sent tickets to go see...
And here is the new 9-5.
I like the new rear. (I checked with the usual suspect and I am not wrong, this is indeed the new rear of the new 9-5. If you find any inadvertence is only due to the fact the hubs was not at home to double check.)
So, there it is. This is what we did last Tuesday. More photos, in case you want to see more cars, can be found on the flickr account.
For now, toodiloo.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Kat 101
Perhaps it's that time of the year when I try to list all things that I consider important, that could give someone a better glimpse into who I am, but honestly, I have been thinking about this post for quite some time, and now it is the time to do it.
I start from the presumptuous presumption that someone gives a flying darn about that. I also presumed that since the blog address is listed on the Facebook page, my friends would notice it. They don't.
Nevertheless, in random order:
1. I love my husband. Completely, utterly, madly in love with that guy! We are two of a kind. We are known to say the same thing at the same time, or finish each other's sentence, from the very first time we met. We think alike in most respects. We put each other first and God, that feels divine.
I used to think that people who define themselves through their relationships or children are looking for subterfuges to assert themselves, or so weak that they do not know who they are so they identify with common accomplishments in life. I now know that I was young and foolish. A successful relationship and children are not common. OK, maybe children are common, but they still can define the parent (some of them). Which is not always true the other way round.
I did not want to get a kitten, although I had more pets than hubby. He was the one who wanted a grey cat. We've got it. And boy! is Milo a handful... But in a good way. Mostly. :-)
2. I appreciate very much intelligence. For a long time I thought that being smart was the most important thing.
I have come to realise that I was wrong. Being kind is far more important. I am not talking about instances of kindness, I am talking about the deep-in-the-soul-rooted kindness, a defining quality in a human being, which, sadly, is so rare. It is way more common to be mean, even if it is just a reaction to the pettiness, stupidity and evil around us or happening to us. And despite being preached by all religions from the beginning of times, kindness is so often mistaken as simple-mindedness. I do believe that the world would be a far better place if we all were a bit more kind and a bit more polite. Manners are also considered old-fashioned, and they shouldn't.
3. I do not cry at movies. Usually. The only movies I cried at are
- The incredible journey Towards the end, when Shadow falls in the pit, I found myself in need of a Kleenex.
- Romeo + Juliet And no, it was not the plot, I knew how it ended beforehand. Baz Luhrmann is the director I like most, he blends classic with kitsch precisely to my taste. And Leonardo de Caprio IS a good actor, too bad he still has the loom of Titanic hanging over his shoulder. As for Clare Danes, this was the role of her life. I think she raised the bar for all Juliets to an unbelievable height. Rarely can one find a Juliet more youthfully sweet, yet sassy and knowledgeable in the matters of the heart. *
- M.A.S.H. : grant it, it's no movie, but it is a GREAT show, this episode, with the practical joker, makes me laugh every time I watch it (reason for which I watch it quite often); this episode, when Henry dies, never fails to get a sniffed sob out of me. I watched the entire series, I have it all on DVDs, I still cannot watch the last episode, when they all go home and it ends with Hawkeye in the chopper watching down at the beach, where B.J. wrote 'good bye'... (sniff). I am pathetic, really, I grow older and none the stronger.
4. I am in awe before Shakespeare and his genius. I also owe him my proficiency in English. And other life lessons, such as: if you lose, it does not make you a loser (a.k.a. Hamlet), or sometimes, only love is not enough (a.k.a. Romeo and Juliet); or owls are not what they seem (a.k.a. Othello); or don't be foolish, because life is cruel anyway (yes, that would be King Lear).
5. I read Harry Potter several times, and will most certainly do so in the future (as I do with books I like, re- and re-read them over and over). This is how writing should be (in my books, of course) - simple, yet complicated, heart-warming and wonderful. I find myself annoyed how many people disregard this series, considering it 'childish'. It may be addressed to children, but it is too simplistic to discard it this way. The wizarding world is a charming mélange of Arthurian themes, chivalric symbols, fundamental legends and myths, found in various forms in all corners of the world, the books deal with topics like coming of age before one's time and against one's will, death (and fear thereof) and dictatorship (or how to ignore something bad until it becomes unbearable). Whoever fails to see the magic in HP must have a on/off relationship with the child within and the magic that sets off the imagination. I do not hold people who do not like Harry Potter in contempt, I am just sorry for them for missing out on a great adventure and read. There are not so many long books which make you sad to have finished reading them.
6. I like to drive, but I am at my most irritable when driving. I cuss more and heavier than a proper lady should when driving. I also understand how it feels to cross the thin line between normalcy and road rage. The line I hear most often when I am driving is 'But you don't have to get so angry, really now'.
I have a lot of beefs with drivers and driving habits anywhere, e.g. (in no particular order):
- drivers who change lanes without signalling;
- tailgaters;
- drivers who speed up just to close in the gap when they see you signalling to change the lane;
- drivers who speed up, even though the red light is on, only to break with a screech within twice less the advisable distance;
- drives in old, beaten cars who zoom by on the fast lane with 10 km over the speed limit, because it is the only time when they can overtake.
I had two accidents, both of them 5 days apart, neither of them my fault (they both hit me in the rear). The car had to stay for an entire week in the shop to be repaired, because, surprisingly, two accidents do twice the damage, go figure! The boot was shrunk to the extent that the spare tire could no longer be taken out of it. Swell. The first time, the guy that hit me told me he had no idea what to do in case of accident. I believed him, even after the police told me that they chased him and only stopped after they fired their guns. He was stopped at gun point, but that does not mean that he knew the procedure to follow in case of minor accident.
7. I speak several foreign languages, one of them very well (En), some of them well (Fr and Sp), a couple basically (De, It), and I also understand some others, but only in their written form (Pt and Nl). I could be so much better at all of them, had I only the drive to expand my vocabulary and practice more... It's the only thing I am very good at, and which I thought would help me so much in life, and actually it does not, not at the moment or foreseeable future, anyway (in the getting a job perspective, I mean; otherwise, I think of myself quite entertaining in a multicultural milieu).**
8. I am a decent cook, but do not have the patience to whip up amazing, toiled over dishes. I comfort myself thinking that if only I would want to, I could. Until further proof, it shall remain as such. As for food, the only thing that I do not swallow easily is cauliflower, other than that, anything goes. Oh, and I love-love-love red fruits, berries of any kind being my all time favourite.
9. It is not difficult for my feathers to be rubbed up the wrong way (perhaps it is not unwise to read choleric, although that might be a bit of over-stretching). Luckily, those feathers are just figurative. The result of such activity is sometimes, nonetheless, obviously real. I resigned myself to believing that it is part of my hidden je ne sais quoi.
10. I love the roaring 20s. Love the fashion, love the music (up to the 50s, these are the three decades when good music, the kind that smooths your soul, was made on a constant and general basis), love the air and the social conduct and precepts. Nevertheless, I do not regret missing out and being born 5 decades later.
11. I wish I was slimmer. But I can't be bothered to actually do something in this respect. Complacency is the ruling word on this matter. Weight is not something that clouds my mind, although, according to certain voices, it should. But those voices never carry anything to far.
12. I used to smoke. I've smoked for some 13 years or even more. I do not know what I was thinking at the time. I quit this nasty habit 3 years ago. Gained some (heavy) weight. But I honestly think it is a fair trade.
13. I love board and card games. I was a redoubtable canasta player. Hélas, I haven't played in years. This is one respect in which hubby and I are completely complementary. He is unmoved by such endeavours. I still nurture the hope that maybe he was not exposed to the proper environment and is a talent waited to be discovered.
14. I love chocolate and am able to eat industrial quantities. Still, I must specify that only milk chocolate falls into this category. Dark chocolate is admissible only in combination with mint or in case it is the only sort available. White chocolate - don't bother showing up with THAT, I hate the stuff, can't stand it and am able to not touch it at all, even if otherwise I could murder (with a clean conscience, I might add) for sumtin ssweeeet.
15. I am very much into what could broadly be named pop culture or entertainment, i.e. show biz and celebrities populating it, movies, TV shows and series, actors, who was in what, whom were they linked with, when, what the show/media item they were featured in was about, trivia about movies that are hardly useful to understand the movies as such, and some other two pages I could tell you about this topic, only I think I'd better spare you the trouble. But, if you ever go on Who wants to be a millionaire and hit a question about an obscure (to you) name who did something in the movies/TV and still have the option to 'call a friend' - I am the person you want to call. I either know the answer or can get it in the 30 seconds alloted for the call (but frankly, I am pretty sure I know it and do not need to look it up). No kidding. I am very up to date with American (in and out Hollywood), British, I think I may have a say even about the French show biz and pipol.
16. I read. Daily. Books and online texts. I cannot fall asleep if I do not read. I enjoy biographies, 19th century literature (I still wait to be offered the complete Jane Austen books as a birthday present), sci-fi, thrillers, and practically anythings that I hear that mys be a good book, I read it. The only book I could not finish reading was Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted. (I keep postponing to go back to it.)
17. I also enjoy TV series. I am grateful that (finally) the TV producers realised that the concept of 'TV series' can be more than soap operas or 30-minutes sitcoms. I have reserved an entire other post for this topic, I am still working on it. But it is good. Wait till I finish it. You will see then what I mean by Trivial Pursuit overload at point 15.
18. I love Christmas time. The songs, the holiday smell floating in the air, the decorations, the songs (I want to make sure you are paying attention AND emphasize this point at the same time), the red and gold or blue and silver, everything except the commercialness shoved down consumers' throat by merciless profiteers. I agree to small, symbolic gifts, but that is all.
19.I can't think of anything else for the moment. I will come back with a later edit, if case may be.
20. I simply cannot live the list end at point 19. This simply cannot be! Because... I like symmetry, in practically all aspects of life. On my desk, there are things symmetrically placed left/right; when I eat, I like to use 'dosage' so that I can have an equal amount of food of everything until I finish eating (even if that means eating one pea at a time or eat a small fry in three bites); I like to walk inside one of the tiles which make up the pavement at a time, if that is not possible, than I like my foot to step precisely on the joint between the smaller tiles; I like my hair parted in the middle, although it is not the best look I can get, so I usually part it on one side, which has to be approximately the half of the half, that would be the quarter of the skull, and many other examples. It is not a science, it takes only a bit of getting used to, so that things can be done properly. People don't usually notice this about me, and when I mention this, they smile superiorly, thinking I only seek attention, which I am so not, it is only the OCD in me. You down with OCD***/ Yeah, you know me.
* - By the way (in case you did not know, I may brag about it), we are not told how old Romeo is, as for Juliet, she was two weeks short of 14 years of age when her father talked to her marriage with Paris, in the beginning of the play. That did not prevent her saying to Romeo that he kissed "by the book". Really, what books have you been reading, missy?!
That snide remark aside, contrary to the popular belief (namely that, at that time, marrying so young was a custom), actually motherhood before 18 was strongly frowned upon, precisely because it was too soon, and the average marriage age was between 20 and 20. Shakespeare may have on purpose made Juliet so young, but precocious, in order to give the play a sense of ominous inevitability and a "sense of a painful too-soonness" (a phrase I loved and remember since Uni).
** - This is the only thing I am good at, and yet I have huge areas where improvement is needed. This is not the perfectionist in me, it is simply a dimension of my personality which I still have to develop. Soon. -er better than later. Because it is really pathetic to say that the only thing you are good at is only half-way to its potential exploited. Ok, I will start tomorrow. Better on Monday. Or on the 1st of the month, when I also start exercising. Yep, 'atz a plan.
*** - Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is currently classified as an anxiety disorder marked by the recurrence of intrusive or disturbing thoughts, impulses, images or ideas (obsessions) accompanied by repeated attempts to suppress these thoughts through the performance of certain irrational and ritualistic behaviours or mental acts (compulsions).
OCD should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder even though the two disorders have similar names. Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is not characterized by the presence of obsessions and compulsions; rather, it is a lifelong pattern of insistence on control, orderliness, and perfection that begins no later than the early adult years. It is possible, however, for a person to have both disorders. Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Obsessive-compulsive-disorder.html#ixzz0QjpXVQYY
I start from the presumptuous presumption that someone gives a flying darn about that. I also presumed that since the blog address is listed on the Facebook page, my friends would notice it. They don't.
Nevertheless, in random order:
1. I love my husband. Completely, utterly, madly in love with that guy! We are two of a kind. We are known to say the same thing at the same time, or finish each other's sentence, from the very first time we met. We think alike in most respects. We put each other first and God, that feels divine.
I used to think that people who define themselves through their relationships or children are looking for subterfuges to assert themselves, or so weak that they do not know who they are so they identify with common accomplishments in life. I now know that I was young and foolish. A successful relationship and children are not common. OK, maybe children are common, but they still can define the parent (some of them). Which is not always true the other way round.
I did not want to get a kitten, although I had more pets than hubby. He was the one who wanted a grey cat. We've got it. And boy! is Milo a handful... But in a good way. Mostly. :-)
2. I appreciate very much intelligence. For a long time I thought that being smart was the most important thing.
I have come to realise that I was wrong. Being kind is far more important. I am not talking about instances of kindness, I am talking about the deep-in-the-soul-rooted kindness, a defining quality in a human being, which, sadly, is so rare. It is way more common to be mean, even if it is just a reaction to the pettiness, stupidity and evil around us or happening to us. And despite being preached by all religions from the beginning of times, kindness is so often mistaken as simple-mindedness. I do believe that the world would be a far better place if we all were a bit more kind and a bit more polite. Manners are also considered old-fashioned, and they shouldn't.
3. I do not cry at movies. Usually. The only movies I cried at are
- The incredible journey Towards the end, when Shadow falls in the pit, I found myself in need of a Kleenex.
- Romeo + Juliet And no, it was not the plot, I knew how it ended beforehand. Baz Luhrmann is the director I like most, he blends classic with kitsch precisely to my taste. And Leonardo de Caprio IS a good actor, too bad he still has the loom of Titanic hanging over his shoulder. As for Clare Danes, this was the role of her life. I think she raised the bar for all Juliets to an unbelievable height. Rarely can one find a Juliet more youthfully sweet, yet sassy and knowledgeable in the matters of the heart. *
- M.A.S.H. : grant it, it's no movie, but it is a GREAT show, this episode, with the practical joker, makes me laugh every time I watch it (reason for which I watch it quite often); this episode, when Henry dies, never fails to get a sniffed sob out of me. I watched the entire series, I have it all on DVDs, I still cannot watch the last episode, when they all go home and it ends with Hawkeye in the chopper watching down at the beach, where B.J. wrote 'good bye'... (sniff). I am pathetic, really, I grow older and none the stronger.
4. I am in awe before Shakespeare and his genius. I also owe him my proficiency in English. And other life lessons, such as: if you lose, it does not make you a loser (a.k.a. Hamlet), or sometimes, only love is not enough (a.k.a. Romeo and Juliet); or owls are not what they seem (a.k.a. Othello); or don't be foolish, because life is cruel anyway (yes, that would be King Lear).
5. I read Harry Potter several times, and will most certainly do so in the future (as I do with books I like, re- and re-read them over and over). This is how writing should be (in my books, of course) - simple, yet complicated, heart-warming and wonderful. I find myself annoyed how many people disregard this series, considering it 'childish'. It may be addressed to children, but it is too simplistic to discard it this way. The wizarding world is a charming mélange of Arthurian themes, chivalric symbols, fundamental legends and myths, found in various forms in all corners of the world, the books deal with topics like coming of age before one's time and against one's will, death (and fear thereof) and dictatorship (or how to ignore something bad until it becomes unbearable). Whoever fails to see the magic in HP must have a on/off relationship with the child within and the magic that sets off the imagination. I do not hold people who do not like Harry Potter in contempt, I am just sorry for them for missing out on a great adventure and read. There are not so many long books which make you sad to have finished reading them.
6. I like to drive, but I am at my most irritable when driving. I cuss more and heavier than a proper lady should when driving. I also understand how it feels to cross the thin line between normalcy and road rage. The line I hear most often when I am driving is 'But you don't have to get so angry, really now'.
I have a lot of beefs with drivers and driving habits anywhere, e.g. (in no particular order):
- drivers who change lanes without signalling;
- tailgaters;
- drivers who speed up just to close in the gap when they see you signalling to change the lane;
- drivers who speed up, even though the red light is on, only to break with a screech within twice less the advisable distance;
- drives in old, beaten cars who zoom by on the fast lane with 10 km over the speed limit, because it is the only time when they can overtake.
I had two accidents, both of them 5 days apart, neither of them my fault (they both hit me in the rear). The car had to stay for an entire week in the shop to be repaired, because, surprisingly, two accidents do twice the damage, go figure! The boot was shrunk to the extent that the spare tire could no longer be taken out of it. Swell. The first time, the guy that hit me told me he had no idea what to do in case of accident. I believed him, even after the police told me that they chased him and only stopped after they fired their guns. He was stopped at gun point, but that does not mean that he knew the procedure to follow in case of minor accident.
7. I speak several foreign languages, one of them very well (En), some of them well (Fr and Sp), a couple basically (De, It), and I also understand some others, but only in their written form (Pt and Nl). I could be so much better at all of them, had I only the drive to expand my vocabulary and practice more... It's the only thing I am very good at, and which I thought would help me so much in life, and actually it does not, not at the moment or foreseeable future, anyway (in the getting a job perspective, I mean; otherwise, I think of myself quite entertaining in a multicultural milieu).**
8. I am a decent cook, but do not have the patience to whip up amazing, toiled over dishes. I comfort myself thinking that if only I would want to, I could. Until further proof, it shall remain as such. As for food, the only thing that I do not swallow easily is cauliflower, other than that, anything goes. Oh, and I love-love-love red fruits, berries of any kind being my all time favourite.
9. It is not difficult for my feathers to be rubbed up the wrong way (perhaps it is not unwise to read choleric, although that might be a bit of over-stretching). Luckily, those feathers are just figurative. The result of such activity is sometimes, nonetheless, obviously real. I resigned myself to believing that it is part of my hidden je ne sais quoi.
10. I love the roaring 20s. Love the fashion, love the music (up to the 50s, these are the three decades when good music, the kind that smooths your soul, was made on a constant and general basis), love the air and the social conduct and precepts. Nevertheless, I do not regret missing out and being born 5 decades later.
11. I wish I was slimmer. But I can't be bothered to actually do something in this respect. Complacency is the ruling word on this matter. Weight is not something that clouds my mind, although, according to certain voices, it should. But those voices never carry anything to far.
12. I used to smoke. I've smoked for some 13 years or even more. I do not know what I was thinking at the time. I quit this nasty habit 3 years ago. Gained some (heavy) weight. But I honestly think it is a fair trade.
13. I love board and card games. I was a redoubtable canasta player. Hélas, I haven't played in years. This is one respect in which hubby and I are completely complementary. He is unmoved by such endeavours. I still nurture the hope that maybe he was not exposed to the proper environment and is a talent waited to be discovered.
14. I love chocolate and am able to eat industrial quantities. Still, I must specify that only milk chocolate falls into this category. Dark chocolate is admissible only in combination with mint or in case it is the only sort available. White chocolate - don't bother showing up with THAT, I hate the stuff, can't stand it and am able to not touch it at all, even if otherwise I could murder (with a clean conscience, I might add) for sumtin ssweeeet.
15. I am very much into what could broadly be named pop culture or entertainment, i.e. show biz and celebrities populating it, movies, TV shows and series, actors, who was in what, whom were they linked with, when, what the show/media item they were featured in was about, trivia about movies that are hardly useful to understand the movies as such, and some other two pages I could tell you about this topic, only I think I'd better spare you the trouble. But, if you ever go on Who wants to be a millionaire and hit a question about an obscure (to you) name who did something in the movies/TV and still have the option to 'call a friend' - I am the person you want to call. I either know the answer or can get it in the 30 seconds alloted for the call (but frankly, I am pretty sure I know it and do not need to look it up). No kidding. I am very up to date with American (in and out Hollywood), British, I think I may have a say even about the French show biz and pipol.
16. I read. Daily. Books and online texts. I cannot fall asleep if I do not read. I enjoy biographies, 19th century literature (I still wait to be offered the complete Jane Austen books as a birthday present), sci-fi, thrillers, and practically anythings that I hear that mys be a good book, I read it. The only book I could not finish reading was Chuck Palahniuk's Haunted. (I keep postponing to go back to it.)
17. I also enjoy TV series. I am grateful that (finally) the TV producers realised that the concept of 'TV series' can be more than soap operas or 30-minutes sitcoms. I have reserved an entire other post for this topic, I am still working on it. But it is good. Wait till I finish it. You will see then what I mean by Trivial Pursuit overload at point 15.
18. I love Christmas time. The songs, the holiday smell floating in the air, the decorations, the songs (I want to make sure you are paying attention AND emphasize this point at the same time), the red and gold or blue and silver, everything except the commercialness shoved down consumers' throat by merciless profiteers. I agree to small, symbolic gifts, but that is all.
19.I can't think of anything else for the moment. I will come back with a later edit, if case may be.
20. I simply cannot live the list end at point 19. This simply cannot be! Because... I like symmetry, in practically all aspects of life. On my desk, there are things symmetrically placed left/right; when I eat, I like to use 'dosage' so that I can have an equal amount of food of everything until I finish eating (even if that means eating one pea at a time or eat a small fry in three bites); I like to walk inside one of the tiles which make up the pavement at a time, if that is not possible, than I like my foot to step precisely on the joint between the smaller tiles; I like my hair parted in the middle, although it is not the best look I can get, so I usually part it on one side, which has to be approximately the half of the half, that would be the quarter of the skull, and many other examples. It is not a science, it takes only a bit of getting used to, so that things can be done properly. People don't usually notice this about me, and when I mention this, they smile superiorly, thinking I only seek attention, which I am so not, it is only the OCD in me. You down with OCD***/ Yeah, you know me.
* - By the way (in case you did not know, I may brag about it), we are not told how old Romeo is, as for Juliet, she was two weeks short of 14 years of age when her father talked to her marriage with Paris, in the beginning of the play. That did not prevent her saying to Romeo that he kissed "by the book". Really, what books have you been reading, missy?!
That snide remark aside, contrary to the popular belief (namely that, at that time, marrying so young was a custom), actually motherhood before 18 was strongly frowned upon, precisely because it was too soon, and the average marriage age was between 20 and 20. Shakespeare may have on purpose made Juliet so young, but precocious, in order to give the play a sense of ominous inevitability and a "sense of a painful too-soonness" (a phrase I loved and remember since Uni).
** - This is the only thing I am good at, and yet I have huge areas where improvement is needed. This is not the perfectionist in me, it is simply a dimension of my personality which I still have to develop. Soon. -er better than later. Because it is really pathetic to say that the only thing you are good at is only half-way to its potential exploited. Ok, I will start tomorrow. Better on Monday. Or on the 1st of the month, when I also start exercising. Yep, 'atz a plan.
*** - Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is currently classified as an anxiety disorder marked by the recurrence of intrusive or disturbing thoughts, impulses, images or ideas (obsessions) accompanied by repeated attempts to suppress these thoughts through the performance of certain irrational and ritualistic behaviours or mental acts (compulsions).
OCD should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder even though the two disorders have similar names. Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is not characterized by the presence of obsessions and compulsions; rather, it is a lifelong pattern of insistence on control, orderliness, and perfection that begins no later than the early adult years. It is possible, however, for a person to have both disorders. Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/Obsessive-compulsive-disorder.html#ixzz0QjpXVQYY
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Looking for my wit's end... There it is! I'm at it.
I am so egocentric that I cannot write anything worth reading without getting too much personal info into that text. And I have reached the point where being the centre is no longer fun. I would like to 'right sumtin deep' having as subject a wonderful topic that is totally unrelated to me.
So, unable to do the 'rightin' thang', I will again deal with something personal.
I was absent for some time from this blog, due to events which were out of my control and which made me go through a quite vast array of emotions. Yes, I kept posting now and then, but my heart was really not into it. For example, I could have easily told you so much more and wittier about U2, but plainly it was not the right time.
First I was elated to get pregnant. Hopeful, day-dreaming, planning nursery and thinking about which school to choose, confident that 'this is it, my life is going to change forever'. I was right about the 'forever changed life', but not in the way I expected.
Then I was worried (and this feeling, I am afraid to say, has not left me yet, nor does it seem to. Soon. Or ever.). Things were not evolving as they should, yet I remained hopeful.
Afterwards, the world as I knew it came crashing down. I had a missed abortion at approximately 10 weeks. And yes, it is true, life would never be as I knew it before.
Cue enter 'dead inside' feeling. Which had two meanings, for a while there was something dead in me, and then there was the 'absent limb pain' that took over.
Despair, hopelessness, pointlessness, disappointment, failure, and an entire cohort of other such feelings that I am tired of remembering floored me.
Then I started to resurface from the cesspool of negative thinking. It is tiring to put up a happy face, but it pays off in the end, because it comes a time when it is no longer so difficult and you realise that it is getting better.
I am getting better. I will never be the same, I know, and where once I was fearless, now I am a very changed person, marred by crushed hope and worry. And I tend to rename 'pessimism' with 'realism', which is childish, I am not fooling anyone, not even myself, but I am trying to change that.
Now I feel best I have been in months. I can talk about our loss without crying, or getting teary-eyed, or chocking with sudden pain in my throat. It is not easy, but it is no longer that difficult.
Getting back to the land of hoping is another thing, though. I do not think I will ever be that bright-eyed as I was last April. I never realised how fragile life is. I knew it theoretically, but not emotionally, which is a whole different thing altogether. It is like knowing about 'love' as something fools rush into, and actually losing your head for a person who, although you know perfectly well is not perfect, is nonetheless perfect for you, and you find yourself able to do things you have never thought about before and notions such as self-humiliation or limits you impose yourself change every single day. Only that what I felt was the opposite of love. Or, to be more precise, it was not a fulfilled love, but an unrequited, forlorn and lost love.
Anyway. Time heals all wounds.
Wait, this is something I deeply do not agree with. Time wounds all heals, yes.
No, I think that time puts a crust on wounds that helps contain them, yes, but it does not heal. A scar does not mean a healed wound, it is a reminder of a wound.
But, since all things in life come with a counterpart, hence the duality of life, you know, day-night, good-bad, sad-happy, black-white (with the mention of a bazillion shades of gray in between them), yada-yada, even the darkest cloud in my life comes with a silver lining. I appreciate what I have more, my life, my love, the support and help I get without asking, and much more. It is nice and heart-warming. I think I'd better stop here, because no matter what I say or think about, I get teary-eyed.
So, since kid take #1 did not go as planned, we got a cat. At least this plan worked out fine. No, we are not replacing the kid with a cat. But the cat is a very welcome relief. Milo, 'cause that's his name, is a Russian Blue, one of the, if not THE, most loving, sweet and playful kittens in the world. Good training for when we do have kids for real, this one, as well, because it does test my patience at the most surprising of times. And I can't really do anything about it, it's a kitten who only knows how to play and for whom concepts of 'not on the table', 'don't chew my book', and so on, are simple invitations to play. He does help us (read me) relax more, he makes me laugh more (can't keep a straight face when seeing a cat chasing its own tail, or coming from the toilet with two drops of litter on its nose, or falling over from over-stretching in its sleep, too funny to watch, I am telling you).
Autumn is here. The August heat is almost gone and the rain can be smelled in the evening air. I love autumn and it has always been a very productive time of year for me. I get more things done in autumn, I read more, I learn better, I work more efficiently. I hope this autumn is going to be just as kind with me as it has been before.
I notice that I have only crap tags in this blog. Well, can't really be bothered to change that.
Now, I hope that I will come back soon(-ish) with more beefs. Because, let's face it, this is what I am best at.
This is what this blog lacked. A bit of a personal touch, isn't it?
Oh, and the title - yep, I reached one end of my wit. But thankfully, my wit is star-shaped (linear would be boring, so I like to think of it as star-shaped, it's comforting to know that you have more than one end), and now that I reached one end, I am coming back and trying to not reach another soon. The solution for my predicament is too evident to spell it out.
The music end of this post is a bit of Ol' Blue Eyes:
So, unable to do the 'rightin' thang', I will again deal with something personal.
I was absent for some time from this blog, due to events which were out of my control and which made me go through a quite vast array of emotions. Yes, I kept posting now and then, but my heart was really not into it. For example, I could have easily told you so much more and wittier about U2, but plainly it was not the right time.
First I was elated to get pregnant. Hopeful, day-dreaming, planning nursery and thinking about which school to choose, confident that 'this is it, my life is going to change forever'. I was right about the 'forever changed life', but not in the way I expected.
Then I was worried (and this feeling, I am afraid to say, has not left me yet, nor does it seem to. Soon. Or ever.). Things were not evolving as they should, yet I remained hopeful.
Afterwards, the world as I knew it came crashing down. I had a missed abortion at approximately 10 weeks. And yes, it is true, life would never be as I knew it before.
Cue enter 'dead inside' feeling. Which had two meanings, for a while there was something dead in me, and then there was the 'absent limb pain' that took over.
Despair, hopelessness, pointlessness, disappointment, failure, and an entire cohort of other such feelings that I am tired of remembering floored me.
Then I started to resurface from the cesspool of negative thinking. It is tiring to put up a happy face, but it pays off in the end, because it comes a time when it is no longer so difficult and you realise that it is getting better.
I am getting better. I will never be the same, I know, and where once I was fearless, now I am a very changed person, marred by crushed hope and worry. And I tend to rename 'pessimism' with 'realism', which is childish, I am not fooling anyone, not even myself, but I am trying to change that.
Now I feel best I have been in months. I can talk about our loss without crying, or getting teary-eyed, or chocking with sudden pain in my throat. It is not easy, but it is no longer that difficult.
Getting back to the land of hoping is another thing, though. I do not think I will ever be that bright-eyed as I was last April. I never realised how fragile life is. I knew it theoretically, but not emotionally, which is a whole different thing altogether. It is like knowing about 'love' as something fools rush into, and actually losing your head for a person who, although you know perfectly well is not perfect, is nonetheless perfect for you, and you find yourself able to do things you have never thought about before and notions such as self-humiliation or limits you impose yourself change every single day. Only that what I felt was the opposite of love. Or, to be more precise, it was not a fulfilled love, but an unrequited, forlorn and lost love.
Anyway. Time heals all wounds.
Wait, this is something I deeply do not agree with. Time wounds all heals, yes.
No, I think that time puts a crust on wounds that helps contain them, yes, but it does not heal. A scar does not mean a healed wound, it is a reminder of a wound.
But, since all things in life come with a counterpart, hence the duality of life, you know, day-night, good-bad, sad-happy, black-white (with the mention of a bazillion shades of gray in between them), yada-yada, even the darkest cloud in my life comes with a silver lining. I appreciate what I have more, my life, my love, the support and help I get without asking, and much more. It is nice and heart-warming. I think I'd better stop here, because no matter what I say or think about, I get teary-eyed.
So, since kid take #1 did not go as planned, we got a cat. At least this plan worked out fine. No, we are not replacing the kid with a cat. But the cat is a very welcome relief. Milo, 'cause that's his name, is a Russian Blue, one of the, if not THE, most loving, sweet and playful kittens in the world. Good training for when we do have kids for real, this one, as well, because it does test my patience at the most surprising of times. And I can't really do anything about it, it's a kitten who only knows how to play and for whom concepts of 'not on the table', 'don't chew my book', and so on, are simple invitations to play. He does help us (read me) relax more, he makes me laugh more (can't keep a straight face when seeing a cat chasing its own tail, or coming from the toilet with two drops of litter on its nose, or falling over from over-stretching in its sleep, too funny to watch, I am telling you).
Autumn is here. The August heat is almost gone and the rain can be smelled in the evening air. I love autumn and it has always been a very productive time of year for me. I get more things done in autumn, I read more, I learn better, I work more efficiently. I hope this autumn is going to be just as kind with me as it has been before.
I notice that I have only crap tags in this blog. Well, can't really be bothered to change that.
Now, I hope that I will come back soon(-ish) with more beefs. Because, let's face it, this is what I am best at.
This is what this blog lacked. A bit of a personal touch, isn't it?
Oh, and the title - yep, I reached one end of my wit. But thankfully, my wit is star-shaped (linear would be boring, so I like to think of it as star-shaped, it's comforting to know that you have more than one end), and now that I reached one end, I am coming back and trying to not reach another soon. The solution for my predicament is too evident to spell it out.
The music end of this post is a bit of Ol' Blue Eyes:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)